Tell-All Book Has Sociologists Upgrading Rob Ford From “Asshole” to “Fucking Asshole”

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, (TheBadgerCA) – Upon reading passages from ’s tell-all book documenting his time as chief of staff to Rob Ford when Ford was , leading experts in the sociology world have upgraded Rob Ford’s sociological standing. Daniel Thyckes, chair for the Canadian Sociological Association, was part of the committee responsible for Ford’s upgrade.

Said Thyckes, “The passage was very illuminating to us. We had originally thought that the book was closed on Ford following his disgraced tenure as Mayor. When he removed himself from the mayoral race in the last election, we felt that we would only need the standard updates to his file, maybe once a year, and ensure of his standing as “Asshole”. It was pretty clear given his constant lying about drug use, his abuse of fellow council members, his lies to Toronto citizens, his drunk driving, these are the types of behaviours that will give you the title of ‘Asshole’ from our organization. He had at this point effectively ticked all of the boxes for us.

“Then we were given the excerpt from the book (Towhey’s “Mayor Rob Ford: : How I Tried to Help the World’s Most Notorious Mayor“) and we immediately had to reconvene the committee. The passages went beyond what you’d expect from a common Asshole. Yes, the root behaviours of an Asshole were there, but this was beyond our expectations of an Asshole. Look at how it reads. A call in the early hours to your chief of staff; that’s an Asshole move. Being intoxicated on who-knows-what while doing it; Asshole move. Screaming at him and his wife at the same time; Asshole move. Now, threatening his wife while over the phone to your chief of staff; this is where it gets interesting. We’re beginning to cross a threshold into something larger than ‘typical’ Asshole. It’s approaching the boundary.

“Now we’re seeing money hidden around the house. That’s unreported income from a trust-fund millionaire; bigger Asshole. A gun in the house with two small children; bigger Asshole. Threatening to shoot wife with said gun; bigger Asshole still. But where it goes big, from a sociological standpoint, is the waking up of the daughter, at three in the morning, and seeing the child be the smart one in the house. That’s the straw. That’s where this whole thing blows up. That’s when Mr. Ford becomes a ‘Fucking Asshole’. Myself, I was just proud to be able to contribute to this. It’s quite a finding. You don’t see many Fucking Assholes out there, but when they do, they stand out.”

Towhey’s book ”Mayor Rob Ford: Uncontrollable: How I Tried to Help the World’s Most Notorious Mayor” hits shelves at the end of the month.

About D. Tavendall