Chris Alexander Blames Media for Reporting on His Failure as a Human Being

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The Always Helpful MP

OTTAWA, (TheBadgerCA) -  minister Chris Alexander has lashed out at the media today, blaming them for his complete inability to do his job properly and behave in a humane manner. In a statement released this morning, Alexander criticized all media outlets for not focusing on the crisis in and instead focusing on his ministry’s inability to handle refugees in a humanitarian manner, and generally making his life uncomfortable.

The minister came under fire today following images of a drowned Syrian boy who had washed up on Turkish shores made its way around the globe, driving home the plight of the Syrian refugees. What is worse for the minister is that the drowned boy’s family was seeking asylum in Canada and was denied.

“This is the type of (garbage) that I’m talking about”, fumed Alexander in a phone interview. “Under my watch, (Canada) has brought in a ton of refugees. You (the media) just focus on what doesn’t work. Now, you get one picture of a drowned child and suddenly you forget about the tens and tens of people that my ministry and I have helped. Just talk to (Canadian Prime Minister Stephen) Harper if you think things aren’t going great. You should have been spending more time covering the actual conflict instead of me, my ministry or some dentist who shot a tiger or whatever. And don’t even think of bringing up the fact that I didn’t want to offer the (Syrian) refugees health care until the heat got turned up. This is the type of shit I’m talking about.”

It  has also come to light that New Democrat MP tried to help the family in question, bringing their plight to the attention of Alexander. The family were rejected entry to Canada. Donnelly said, “I did everything I could to help this family in my capacity as an MP. Alexander was on his phone the entire time.”

When asked for comment, Alexander stated “Oh, you assholes are loving this, aren’t you?” and terminated the call.

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