2017—President Hillary’s New Best Friend, Vladimir Putin

It was January 21, 2017 and an exhausted President Hillary Clinton was basking in the afterglow of her swearing in the day before. Narrowly defeating Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election, she settled into her chair in the Oval Office on her first full day at the helm. She surveyed the room and dreamed of how she planned to serve out the third and maybe fourth terms of Barack Obama—just as she had promised to do during the campaign.

As she sat back in the comfort of the First Chair and while her husband, First Philanderer Bill Clinton busied himself interviewing new female interns, President Hillary waited for the next congratulatory call from the next head of state. There were, of course, the oil sheiks from the Mideast who had so generously contributed to the Clinton Slush Fund over the years and who wished to remind her that, well, they were owed. Then there were the traditional allies, Britain, France and a nervous Israel—worried whether the new President would be as hostile to the interests of our only Mideast ally as was her predecessor. There was the congratulatory call from Obama who called once more to suggest that he might be interested in a Supreme Court vacancy in the event that some current Justice were to die or retire due to health reasons. After all, Obama’s ringing endorsement of President Hillary last summer buoyed her flagging campaign. And there was the wink and a nod to the Attorney General that resulted in no untidy criminal charges as a result of her email indiscretions. There were strings attached to all such favors as the Clintons knew better than anyone.

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